New Year, New Me

I am sitting here trying to figure out what to make of 2012 as though there is a phrase, a feeling, or a thought that could sum it up. It was neither up nor down, nor anywhere in between. Neither hard nor easy. Almost from the beginning, it did seem to require that I live very much in the present, and to live very intentionally. I am reminded of the quote that goes something like planning is essential, plans are useless. And now with the luxury of looking back I can set some order to what it was. Perhaps it's this planning in reverse, as though the year were all intentional, that puts me at ease at the beginning of each new year.

I've said it before, I love January. I love the newness, the fresh start, like a blank canvas destined to be created into something great. On the first day of this new year, I escaped the stuffiness of the Y treadmill and took my run outside in the fresh air. I organized my thoughts, I counted the months till a possible referral, and I decided on how great I was going to be this year. January is almost always a season of doing hard work, laying down roots, forging new habits which makes the flowering seasons of spring even more sweet.

I am feeling very optimistic about a referral by next December. As I put every Christmas decoration away, I think about how close we will be when I pull them out again next year. 12 months, it really isn't too long. I am determined to make the most out of these months in supporting my friends who will bring home their children this year, and preparing my own family for an addition. I've got Ethiopian food on the menu this week!

After Thanksgiving, Cole and I decided to go off gluten to see if it helped his concentration. (I participated for moral support.) By removing gluten from my diet, I unexpectantly cured myself of fibromyalgia pain that I have battled for nine years! No medication, no pain. I am sleeping good and I feel like a new person. How unbelievable is that? I still can't believe it as this has truly rocked my world. Eating isn't much fun now and I think I might have some record for the amount of corn chips consumed by one person, but I am still learning. We are still waiting to see if Cole is benefitting by eating no wheat, but I am turning into a walking advertisement on how food can make you sick.

Maybe all 2012 was, in reality, was the makings of 2013. The behind the scenes of new paths, new lives and new stories still penciled in rough draft. I sit here, looking out at a gray, damp day and I think of the seeds underground. The plants out there freezing and lying dormant absorbing that necessary chill only to awaken anew when the time comes. I remember that they will do that without any help or plans from me, they will do it because they are created for it.

May 2013 bring you all of your heart's desires, even in the smallest doses. I hope that you will be given all that you need to feel comfort in what it is you are created for. Thank you for being here with me and allowing me to have a comfortable space to invest my thoughts. I look forward to sharing this year with you.