At Our House

We are baking.

We are playing.


We are remembering.


We are snacking.


We are decorating.


We are anticipating.


We are resting.


We are wishing you a joyous Nativity & that all you love & cherish will be near to you.

Thanksgiving

Troy makes good things happen. It's one of his many qualities for which I'm grateful. I'd like to think that my talents complement his, that we're a good balance for one another, helping each become better through the conduits of being in tandem.

The beauty and mystery of a family is all the talents coming together to create a unique concoction, sometimes creating harmony and other times a dissonance that has me tilting my head in discomfort until it ceases, as it inevitably does.

Cole, with his ever sunshiny disposition, his dramatic body language, complete with the snappy jazz hands and open mouth. He likes to please others and make people laugh, and talents of a visual nature come easily to him. He has no time to waste on clouds of gloom and his sensitivity to others is elevated beyond the normal 9-year-old. His show of gratitude comes from someplace deeper than lessons from parents. We, in turn, are grateful for him.

Clark's personality is unfolding. He is blessed to have a flock of adoring fans built into his daily life. Parents and brother's alike who rush to soothe his cries, to play with him and show him the world. He is demanding, but I have a feeling he will give more than he'll ever take.

Jack, the oldest, is the voice of the tribe. While he has the pressure to do everything first, "right". He makes everything look easy. He has the ability to turn every situation positive and has years beyond his 13 year old body. He brings maturity and honesty to every situation. He leads the crew and what he wants is usually agreed upon.

Clare doesn't miss a thing. She knows when we've passed our street, she knows who is where, and she knows where things are (although it's often because she has hidden them). She knows. Her knowledge will soon be wisdom and she uses those pieces to identify outcomes and possibilities. And boy, is she fun. 

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at the task of mothering these souls. And we get to watch and attempt to help, perhaps more like flounder, as we teach what we know, share what we've experienced and hope and pray that they will want to learn and use our mistakes and missteps to their advantage to start life a few rungs higher.

So, as we prepare to celebrate our day of giving thanks, I feel gratitude for the personalities that I call my family. They add flavor, they add zest, and above all, they help me to strive to be better, and soon they will surpass everything I'm able to teach them.

Which is exactly how I would have it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I Walk the Line

When we were making the decision to move from the Catholic church to Covenant, it was a struggle for us. Mind you, the Catholic church was not the ideal place for us. We were uneducated ritual followers who liked the conformity of tradition. It did serve as a platform to "wanting" to be have faith and trust in God, but it lacked so much that we were seeking and equipped us with nothing except a nice group of catholic women that taught me about catholic traditions, rules and guilt.

The biggest hang-up for me (and sometimes still is) of joining a Protestant church is not having to pray through a priest and determining how I am comfortable worshiping. Three years ago when we tried our new church we felt odd. We felt like it wasn't reverant enough, too casual. Where were the robes, organ and holy water? Where were we supposed to kneel?? We should have rules here people, and there certainly shouldn't be any hand clapping or hand raising.

But you see, in our Catholic church we felt distanced from God and it felt like a "safe" place to be. After all, the priest did all the work. He handled the praying, forgiving my sins and gave out the bread of salvation every week so I could start out new. There really wasn't much expected out of me besides maintaining the guilt and serving Saint Vincent de Paul.

Now, three years after joining Covenant church, I find myself in a much different place. I am called to be the seeker, an active participant, holding myself accountable, being missional and knowing who God really is. We are responding to our faith through an adoption, we pray regularly, we are learning the Bible. Our eyes are opened to what has been done for us and how deeply we are loved. We've changed. Our actions are more deliberate, our smiles more genuine, our time better spent.

That said, there are some days I want to go back to taking a back seat. It was easier. Some Sundays I look around and think to myself all these people have noodles for brains and want to go back to the kneeling bench, rosary beads in hand, repeating Hail Marys. Furthermore, I admit, sometimes I want to hide, call the whole thing off. It was easier being the follower. I could claim to something I wasn't because it was more mainstream, and acceptable. I admit that somedays I don't have any idea what I am doing and clinging to "Jesus" feels off the wall and crazy. I would willfully be what "the other guy is" because it I am fine with being in the middle of the road. Sometimes, I feel doubt and feel like I am too far behind my Christian friends who can recite scripture and seem to have it all figured out. Faith just doesn't seem like a convincing way of explaining the world. God doesn't seem to be near or answer my worries and sometimes I lose hope.

Does this mean I have doubt to where I am, or am I just tired? Do I want acceptance more than I want God? Are the questions I ask normal or have I just earned myself a ticket on the next train to Hells-ville.

Here is what I think...I think the doubt is good. 

Somedays I think of my faith as a castle—safe, comfortable, familiar. But what if God doesn’t want me to be comfortable and safe? What if comfortable and safe keeps God at a distance?
Doubt tears down the castle walls to force us on a journey. It may feel like God is far away or absent when in fact doubt is a gift of God to move us and grow us.

But it is scary and painful because I feel like I am moving away from Him. But actually I am only leaving behind the idea of God I like to surround myself with—the small God, the God I control, the God who agrees with me.

God is teaching me to trust him, not myself. He means to have all of me, not just the surface, going to church, volunteering part. Not just the part people see, but the part no one sees.
Not even me.

I’ve heard this many times: “Let go and let God.” It’s true—but “letting go” might be more than I bargained for. I must be taught, for I absolutely will not willingly go there myself. When we are not letting go, when we try to stay in control of something, that’s when God turns off the light and makes it dark—not because he is against us, but because he is for us. When we are out of control, that is when God can speak to us—without all of the layers of stuff we have piled up inside of us. God puts us out of our control so that we can learn to trust—not “believe” or “have faith” but something deeper and harder:

Trust.

You can only trust when you have let go completely, when you don’t try to control. When we learn to trust God out of our emptiness, we become liberated from our attachments, from our fears, and we learn to live with freedom and joy. That is the Christian journey.

So, friends I will continue my internal saga and I will come out alright. I will arrive a little disheveled and messy, but I will get there in the end.

I've been really having fun with our new fundraiser. I have mastered the art of pie making! After many practice pies, we have our recipes nailed down and pie dough and whipped cream no longer intimidate me.  All three pies offered have exceeded our expectations of a pie in terms of taste and presentation. So if you are in my area, consider purchasing a pie from me this Thanksgiving and supporting our adoption. All pies are made with much love and help bring our little boy home from Ethiopia through the blessing of adoption. I can't wait till he is older and I can tell him all the crazy things I did for him before I even learned his name. 

Thanksgiving pie offerings include:

* Classic Maple Pumpkin
* Mom's Apple Pie
* Old Fashioned Chocolate Fudge

Suggested donation is $17 per pie.

Please make checks payable to "LifeSong for Orphans" with "Farrington #2562 Adoption"
in the subject line.

To place your order, please email farrington76@verizon.net with the following information:
1.) Your name, address, and phone number
2.) The quantity and flavor(s) you would like
3.) Preferred pick-up day and time (pies are available the entire month of November)

All Thanksgiving pie orders must be placed by Sunday, November 11th.
Pies will be available for pick up at my home on Wednesday, November 21st.

Being a Mom in the Mundane

When I am buried under never ending piles of laundry or sweeping crumbs off the floor for the 15th time in a day it can be easy to forget how being a mom is one of the greatest adventures of my life. I have hard, yuck days at home with the kids just like everyone else. I have days when I am counting the hours until bedtime and days I would rather cry than intervene in one more fight. Those are days and moments I try to get through and move on.

Thankfully, the yuck is far outweighed by the simple goodness of being a mom. Not much compares. I love that I get a front row seat to watch as 4 kids grow into the people that God created. Talk about creativity at the ultimate level! My favorite times are usually found in the mundane. The thing about the mundane is if you are too busy with everything else in life you miss out on it.

Simple. Memorable moments.






When I am too busy I can easily notice the fighting among my kids…and not notice developing friendships.



The mundane, day-to-day life….just killing time in the backyard. Life is too fast paced, I want childhood to be slow. I want to celebrate the mundane and recognize that most of life is made up in the mundane.



I want to be in the little moments with my kids maybe even more than I want to be in the big moments.

When I slow down and walk along side them in the mundane I recognize things I might not otherwise. Things like how my 2 year old puts stickers on his legs upside down to the world, but right side up from his perspective. Celebrating the day to day can often seem upside down for our culture, but it seems right side up to me.

Make A Wish

I must admit. I am having an off week. My sensitivity is in overdrive and I have an embarrassing long list of misfit problems - all small, making me no less than somewhat cranky.

The first two weeks in October sting my heart. For the past 6 years these weeks are spent designing Make-A-Wish Foundation's Report to the Community. This booklet celebrates the generous contibutions and sponsors of the year and it points out the children who have received their wishes from the previous year. I break down every time I read a child's wish and see their face. I imagine the child's family and admire the strength, faith and fortitude needed for battling the emotions that must come with a sick child.

Each year I spend more and more time praying over this project. Tears flow and such sorrow is felt for each family. As each child's face comes up and their wish statement, I feel a rip on my heart. I wonder if the families have the strength of Christ or are they doing this alone. I wonder how many times they questioned and doubted if there was a God that allowed them to experience such pain. I wonder if they have people lifting them up and standing beside them as they experience the greatest loss of all...a child.

Make-A-Wish® Philadelphia & Susquehanna Valley grants the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy.

Every year I read that mission statement, pause and think about how great that it really is. There are so many facets to the wishes these children receive. Yes, I believe the program's intent is to give these children happy memories and solid family time with their loved ones. But I think the words "hope, strength and joy" are extremely powerful and all point me to Christ. I see Make-A-Wish as a bridge for helping families cope with losing a child, celebrating what is important and memorializing the life we are given. The words are all qualities of our heart. Hope, is for that smile and laughter that tells us it will all be fine. Strength is pointing fully to Christ because we can't do it alone. Joy because the perspective is different and the priority has changed and the smile wins out.

I would personally like to add peace to the statement because it would add a closure to the loss. We need peace to move on. I need peace every October in knowing that God has it all taken care of. I have no doubt that each of the names I type to receive remembrance have been here for OUR benefit. They DID something. Changed someone's heart, attitude, or mind.

Nonetheless, the way I look at my day is different every October. I can not stand the thought of laundry, meal planning, and homework when people are really facing something big and painful. My compassion is stepped up a notch and I get ultra sensitive about world issues and get sarcastic about "the little picture".

It is all about perspective. So every October, I get all prayer centered around sick childen and the families that face the loss of a child. So where are my thoughts the other 11.5 months of the year? Am I apprecitive to the health of my family? You bet! And do I get all sentimental when I am faced straight on with tragic loss, yes! I don't know if that is condescending or just pain ridiculous on my character.

Now here I am at adoption. I went on Rainbow Kids last night took a hard look into the faces of children who already faced loss and needed a family to love them. It is interesting to see the big picture, see where God is working on me and seeing how my sensitivities are often wrapped around what is closest to my heart.

Torn

I want the absolute best for my children. I want them to have a patient mother who takes things in stride. Thinks before she speaks. Listens intently. I want them to feel safe, to know whatever they do they will be loved in return.

Why is it that while I feel so strongly about these things, I still get impatient? I still loose my temper. I tell them I don't care when they whine incessantly. I tell them to be stronger, to try harder, I give them tough love that has no resemblance of love.

Our heavenly father is perfect. He has gifted me with these children that remind me of innocence, true love, absolute patience, and moment to moment gratitude. They teach me what is important. They teach me about forgiveness. These children of mine don't hold grudges, they don't have resentment. They look at me with honest eyes that have trust and confidence.

I never knew being a mom would be so humbling. And I never anticipated that the fatherless would so enrapture my thinking that I would completely overturn the picture of a traditional family. Adoption, at first to us, was a means to grow our family even more and by also caring for a child who needed a home. We have a heart for the fatherless so adoption makes sense. Over the past several months on the waiting list, something has changed. What I thought was going to be an appendix of my life – parenting – and what I perceived was one of the things that caught my eye – orphans – has taken center stage.

I've always wanted a large family. A big chaotic loud bunch has always inticied me. I knew I wanted many children but I can't say I handle it like a mom who "goes with the flow". I know that I will look back on this time and scold my past self on what I held to be important. Really, I have it easy. My husband is an amazing dad who encourages the spiritual growth of our children and let them be who they are. He has no control issues what so ever and has complete trust in our children. As I write this I have put all the kids to bed and I am snuggled up with a soft blanket listening to the football game two rooms away.

The problem with living such a cushy life in America is that there's an impulse to pretend that most everyone else lives the same, or close to the same. To look hard at the face of injustice and abuse - especially toward children - threatens our own coziness, somehow.

It's difficult to wrestle with the dichotomy of have/have not. It can't be tidied up and tucked away in a labeled box. It messes with my head. It kicks me in the gut when I should be sleeping. It's hard to process the lives of children in third world countries. Their existence involves crippling poverty. Hunger. Slavery. 

This Saturday, my children will wake up thrilled to the ends that Dad has the day off. They'll argue over whether we go hiking, golfing or swimming. We'll pay for one meal what over half of the families in the world live on for a week.

At the moment our children are sleeping upstairs in warm beds dreaming no doubt of Elmo, cows, and ice cream and will wake up with a mom who serves them warm oatmeal and waffles. I can not tell you how much this hurts my heart. I feel so torn in knowing that my children will wake up to a mom who complains of dirty laundry on the floor and spilled toothpaste when there is a child of mine out there who has basic needs that aren't being met like the warm embrace of a parent.

It is all about our attitude, isn't it? I ask, am I worthy of parenting another's child? It is very humbling noticing our own flaws and contemplating on how others see us and furthermore seeing ourselves as God intended us to be and noticing how we fall short. I pray that in our time waiting, God changes me by reminding me to be more grateful and less efficient. Gather with me to take the time and anchor this moment in gratitude and selflessness. Join me in praying for the children across the globe who lack everything we take for granted.

And then it was time to play...

It's happened. They're back in school, and I'm not sure how that slippery summer slid past so slyly.
It's the perpetual groundhog day experience, each year at the end of school I wonder what in the world we're going to do for the whole summer to keep everyone busy and happy and then before we have a chance to check off everything, it's time for fresh stacks of notebook paper, spotless shoes, and the scent of newly sharpened pencils.

This year is new for us. We have a middle-schooler. What?! We quickly learned that junior high is a WHOLE NOTHER THING. We went to school before school started so he could practice his locker combination. Do you ever have those recurring nightmares? Mine is always that I'm back in high school and can't remember my locker combination or my class schedule. I wake up panicking every single time.

This year was hard for me putting them on the school bus. Middle school has got me all sentimental on how fast my children are growing up. Sweet Cole is in 4th grade and not a day goes by that I worry about his progress in school, however all his friends are in his class so he thinks his year is golden. Hmmmm. Clare happily skipped off to 1st grade. She could not be more ready for full time school. It is so strange to not have her around. The absence of her giant personality has Clark filling in the blank space with idle chit chat. He cracks me up. 

He reminds me to play because we happen to be right here next to each other. :)

Stand Firm

SO, I’ll go ahead and tell you–if you plan to adopt…put that seatbelt on…

I have heard it before...things start to break when you have both feet going down the adoption route. A few months ago, our frig broke, then the well pump needed to be repaired, then the water softener went and the tractor broke. Then just recently, our neighbor's tree fell on the trampoline and left a huge mess for us to tend to. Last Friday, Troy's car got hit and damaged while parked (no note left). Yesterday, my dad discovered that our circuit box in the basement had come away from the wall and was literally hanging by wires. That is the same day I saw smoke billowing out of the chimney, because of a furnace clog. Meanwhile, the kids seem EXTRA hard. The littlest ones seem to listen less, throw more tantrums, and fight more than ever. Our parenting strategies look like they are mere threats falling on deaf ears.

Sometimes I feel so weak and spread so thin. Sometimes I want to hide under the covers.

But I remind myself...

We are not called to back away…to chicken out…or lay low–but to TAKE A STAND.

Ephesians 6:10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 

Some days I let frustration get the best of me. I grumble loudly, wear a scowl and only remember myself. I forget to appreciate my husband's efforts at work or the kid's desire to learn. I forget how thankful I am for our health and our house and our opportunities.

That, friends, is grace. And I don’t deserve it. I’m too busy wearing my Mary nametag and acting like Martha. Bustling around with worry and doubt.

We are called to be prepared–to know hard things WILL come our way and to STAND through the battle of faith not fear. We will not give up.

Georgia Vacation!

Our vacations in Georgia keep getting better. The kids are getting older, and the family keeps getting bigger. We had a wonderful time. We got up early and stayed up late. Us girls made food like we were running a restaurant and then layed on floats soaking up the hot summer sun.

I’m so glad Aunt T took lots of pictures in the chaos of it all. Here are a few of my favorites.

Can you guess who is a bit crazy on the tube?

Yes, I took some epic spills in the lake.  You won't find me in any of these photos, but I did have some awesome moves.

Troy proved to have the magic with the baby. I love this photo of the three brothers.

Right Now...

Right now, I am...

:: feeling grateful to have our leisurely family dinners back without the rush of a game or practice to follow.

:: enjoying the season continuing in the backyard. (LAX Season never really ends.)

:: loving the fact that our dear friends are in Ethiopia right now meeting their three kids.

:: praying that our time will be come eventually.

:: excited for a nice long swim tomorrow.

:: wondering if I will win this new Double Bubble client. My kids are thoroughly impressed I am potentially working for a sugary gum company.

:: planning our long 14 hour road trip to Georgia for summer vacation, a true adventure. Also, stopping in DC on the way back home and visiting little Ethiopia.

:: anticipating all the tasty food my mother-in-law and sister-in-law will feed us.

:: hoping to get up on water skis again this year.

:: looking forward to meeting our newest niece, sweet Elizabeth.

:: wishing you all a most lovely start to your week, whatever adventures it may hold for you!

Time Brings Confidence

Time seems to exponentially speed up once you have a child. And by the time child number 4 comes along it seems like you set them down to crawl around, go put in a load of laundry and get dinner started, and you turn around and they're starting middle school.



I am grateful I am where I am, though. College was great fun, but I'd never want to do it again. My 20s brought me marriage and motherhood, and while I certainly think fondly of my first year of being a mom, I am more than content to be right as I am.



I have learned confidence. I have practiced perseverance. I have discovered abilities. I have grown as a wife and mother.



It's that whole sapling allegory, you know? The one who is subjected to the storms learns to bend, change, and become stronger. My mind is stronger, my passion is brighter, and my love and ability to love is larger.



I'm thinking that while time is speeding up, it's worth it when each decade gets correspondingly better.

Hot Cars and Wise Women

Did I mention I love summer? I’m working on a post to tell you all about what we’re doing this summer but in case I never finish it, you should know that I love summer with all my soul. I love the early morning sunshine, the birds, the warm breeze. I love the kids sleeping in, living in our swimsuits, the constant fort making and making 100 varieties of popsicles. Every summer I institute big academic plans which I always fail at and cause much anxiety and stress. This year, there are no plans and I am liking it. We are going with the flow. Math facts and spelling practice is taking a back seat for a few weeks while I chill with the kids on the back porch playing I Spy and Clue. While it certainly isn't all magical, I do love having them around and I feel very fortunate to be home with them. 

This evening while I was sweeping water out of the garage (which Clark watered), I watched my neighbor drive down the street in this car.Another neighbor was in the car with her and they were picking up the woman who lives across the street from us. It appeared that my neighbors were all going out to dinner together. These three women are in their 70s and have been living on this street together for about 40 years. They raised 10 kids between the three of them and as one struggled as a single parent, and another cared for her dying husband, these women stuck together. As I watched them pull out of the driveway and head toward town, I first of all wanted them to pick me up, but secondly, was struck by the bond that they must share. I LOVE each of these women. All of them have made a life for themselves that is worth admiring. You can tell that they find joy out of life and take pride what they are doing today, not a decade ago. Truly, the three of them could write a book about their lives. All three so different because they were dealt different circumstances, but all three equally interesting and wise. So again, I tried to imagine my life in 40 years as I was sweeping out my bike cluttered garage. Will I remember this phase? Or more importantly, what will the young woman across the street think of me. Will I be an inspiration, or a let-down?

Yard Sale Debrief

About three months ago we sent out letters to our friends asking for their junk so we could sell it at a spring yard sale.  Easy money, right? All going into our adoption fund. I was open to the idea of taking people's junk early and storing it so we could really obtain the maximum amount of stuff. Honestly, I didn't realize the time, energy and patience that was needed to pull off a fundraising yard sale.  We became hoarders and I am sure the neighbors were delighted to see our stuff piling up. Our basement was filled, the kids were banned from it. The screened back porch had stuff piled high and you could hardly walk through the garage. The husband was cranky about it, the kids couldn't find their bikes and the house seemed really really small. I am a borderline minimalist in that if an item doesn't have a function, it isn't in our house. But contrastly, we took in every abandoned item in a 10 mile radius to sell.
The yard sale EVENT took place on May 20th and we were all geared up the night before. We were ready, waking at 4:30am in efforts to get everything out. We had a bake sale that the kids manned, posters explaining our fundraising efforts and smiles on our faces ready to greet our first customer.

The sale was a huge success. I can attest to the fact that people got a DEAL. We didn't charge much on items and that largely attributed to lack of confidence in the selling arena. (by me). We made just over $1,000!
We had loads of stuff left over so we held another sale the week after and sold another $500.
So here we are after the fact, still purging the excess goods hoping for a good home and thankful for all the generous people who donated items.

Troy and I were given the opportunity to talk with a LOT of people the past two Saturday's about adoption, and how we were guided down that path. Obviously, there were people who didn't care a hoot about the fundraising aspect, but there were also a handful of people who really were curious or felt the urge to donate a little bit more. The people who looked me in the eye and gave just a dollar more really hit me. That glimmer of generosity in people is what kept me smiling, kept me going through the day, and gave me the confidence to be an advocate of orphans in my community.
I am so humbled to see how this future child of mine is more of a blessing to me than I can ever be to him.

Rush No More

This is the last year I got to have my side-kick, Clare, home with me for most of the day, every day, to bake and read and dance and pretend and laugh. 

Everyone, and I mean everyone, says children grow up too fast.

“In a blink, they’ll be grown!” says my mom, my mother-in-law and the woman with the silver hair who smiles as my energetic, not-so-tiny bundles bound down the grocery aisle. I’ve even said it myself.

Those words have burned into my soul. They are like nails on a chalkboard to me. I hate those words.

And I’ve realized that it’s because as time passes, as they grow, I’ve missed it with all my blinking.

With all my living my life so full that it feels empty.
No more.
I hold the power to make each moment count.
I can slow time down.

I can stop worrying about every last detail and start paying attention to every important detail.
…crab apple tree dressed with white blooms and my favorite peony plant just starting to open
…empty lines of crisp paper
…just popped popcorn hot and salted just right
…light breaking through fingerprinted windows at the perfect moment
…flip flops smacking with each step
…heads thrown back in fits of giggles
…the smell of warm, vanilla cake magically rising in my oven

Loudly acknowledging in thought, in prayers that this moment is sweet.

Not rushing through my appreciation.
But letting it burn into my soul.

Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:

He bustles about, but only in vain;

he heaps up wealth not knowing who will get it.
Psalm 39:6

You might be a mom...

If you’ve ever caught vomit with your hands.

If you’ve ever considered a trip to Target alone a mini-vacation.

If you’ve ever told a group of adults you need to go potty.

If you’ve ever hidden in the bathroom to talk on the phone.

If you’ve ever had a funeral for a cricket or pulled a soggy lizard from the washing machine.

If you’ve ever used your own spit to clean a face or adjust a wild cowlick.

If you’ve ever thanked God for Magic Erasers.

If you’ve ever hidden chocolate in the house.

If you’ve ever lied to children.

If you’ve ever shaken a pile of crumbs from your purse.

If you wouldn’t trade your unpaid job for all the money in the world.

If you’re not a mom, you certainly had one.

Happy Mother's Day!

Garden Plans

I can actually hear that giant expanse of prepared soil outside begging me to plant, plant, plant. I hear it. It has a kinda whiny voice. That could be my own voice in my brain I imagine.

My mom and I made our annual excursion to Lancaster last week with hopes of buying plants for our garden at a deal.

We took Clare with us, making it a authentic "girls-day". We took off early, but not early enough after dropping off Clark and making sure that the van was oiled up. We made it, but dilly-dailled much too long second guessing our wagons wondering if we got enough.

Clare was excellent, understanding of our wonderings, and happy to make runs to the wagon, arms full of plants. With the weather warm, the excitement was tangible, everyone eager to get home and sink a shovel in the dirt.

I surprised a fellow gardener as I held the Habanero 6-pack in my hands, he warned, "Hottest pepper in the world, dear." I said, "I know, sir, just wondering if I'd like Habanero, red or green for my garden this year...but if I come home without any, my husband will be unhappy!" He looked at me with surprise as I explained to him that we jar our own salsa and it has to be spicy.

Each year is an experiment for me. Anticipating what will grow well, what will the groundhog eat, what will get a plight, etc. I am banking on another good tomato crop. We've never had success with the cucumbers, thanks to the groundhog that lives under the shed. I've already caught a glimpse of him and he is huge and definitely spoiled. This year I am devoting some space to a "cutting garden" so I can decorate our kitchen table with fresh flowers.

I am still working on Troy for chickens. I told the kids that if we do a really good job with the garden this year, maybe we could get chickens next year. I know that chickens are not much like vegetables, but they will both be in the backyard. I just want their eggs. And to give them swanky old fashioned names. The chickens, not the eggs. :)

Wish me luck!

Cartwheels and Juice

If you are a member of our family, there is at least one constant. We go on walks. a lot. Sometimes they fight it but mostly, they have learned that that's just what we do. I've witnessed so many beautiful snapshots of our family during a family walk. One recent one was the brothers having a deep conversation. They really get along, those two, and I thank God every day for giving them each other. I pray that they will always be close. Clare is the one who is usually picked on but sometimes she wins the affection of Cole. The two of them like tag and scooter races. 

"All I want is to do cartwheels and drink juice"

This is what Clare says after our most recent walk. She wasn't joking, she was just stating what makes her happy. This little girl of mine seems to be growing up everyday. She loves running around barefoot, doing flips on the trampoline and doing cartwheels. (I think that girl is on her hands more than her feet.) She is my most active child, physically and mentally. I can talk to her and she understands. She gives it to me straight and she has amazing people skills. But I swear to you, she has a duel personality. :)

She is my child who bends the rules. Makes me uncomfortable. She doesn't like to listen. She often gets me in situations where I have no control.  She is often times only happy if things are done her way and when she senses she has an audience, she goes wild. Ut-ohhh.

This little girl of mine, who is happy on cartwheels and juice, please stick with me. Let us grow together over the mixing bowl chatting about white flour vs. wheat flour and how long you need to knead pizza dough. May we always chat about why God made pesky groundhogs and why squirrels like bird food. Let's make forts under the covers and pretend that day is night while we sip juice out of fancy tea cups. 

Ramblings of a Certified Whiner

So my boys want unlimited video game time and time to sit in front of the TV for hours. They would fall over with happiness if I gave them Doritos and ice cream at every commercial break. Can you imagine every Apple product under the Christmas tree and how many squeals of delight I would hear? The question is, would I be a good parent?

My friend Shannon and I have always been on a quest to stop listening to what the "world" tells us is normal and focus on what we want for our family. Shannon and I have been friends for over 11 years. We met through a friend when our oldest boys were 6 months old. I then went MIA for a few months as I went to work in the real world. We met unexpected at the library one afternoon, both pregnant with our second child.  Then and there, in front of the "BookWorm" statue, we became inseparable. We shared the bond of being pregnant together and what a gift that was! What a source of comfort that was to share that time of nervousness, sickness, tiredness, and excitement. Shannon is the type of person who could make friends with anyone, but I find myself lucky enough for striking a bond with her. She has taught me more things than I could list and has been a loyal friend since day one. Fast forward 6 or 7 months. I had placenta previa with this pregnancy and required a few more doctor's visits plus a scheduled C-section. At the last doctor's appointment, the nurse knocked on the door and explained to me that there was a friend of mine, (Shannon) on the phone who was really wanting to tell me she was to be induced the same day that I would have my C-section. We had the same doc and Shannon had probably pestered the sweet guy enough and yes, our children were to enter the world on the same day (one week later) and in the same hospital. It was the most outrageous thing anyone has ever done for me - to disturb a doctor in an examination room? See, Shannon is like that. She has a personality that LOVES people. She enters their world, like it or not, comes along side people and shows who she is, no editing, she is real, raw and mostly tolerable.:)

Shannon has been my "go-to" person all these years to tell me if I am crazy. Funny how things have changed, though. We used to struggle with teaching our kids to share and eat their veges, how to say no, and complained about the mess of playdoh. But you see, my dear friend Shannon has moved on. She had one more child and then called her family complete. She got a job at a swanky home designer shop and has a life outside the home. There our days I mourn hearing from her, but she is sensitive to the fact that I am still doing the same thing I was doing 12 years ago and calls me regularly and pretends to act interested when I tell her my woes of diapers and snack time.

So anyway, We were just talking the other day about how about how horrid the parents are that allow their children to have iPhones at a young age. We were talking about "entitlement" and all this fancy lingo that equips a parent of a preteen with strategies to put a stop to everything ugly. You know here is a book for everything and Shannon had the one for me. I was going to borrow it and put an end to all this insanity!

Yesterday as I was making dinner and watching the big kids jump on the trampoline out back, it dawned on me that homework better be completed before everyone needed to go to their activity. I am gonna be completely honest here and tell you that I caught myself thinking that it sure would be nice if I could just text my kid from the backyard than to open the back door and scream like a crazy person, "Do you have your homework done?" Then, I won't be able to hear his reply, so he and I will consequently disturb a lot of peace. I caught myself at that moment and said to myself, "hmph, what a phony you are, wanting to live "free" from and not give into today's demanding culture except when it  is convenient for you." I felt very convicted of my own "wants". As I am disgusted by my kids dreams of iPhones, big screen TVs and video games, I catch myself yearning for a double oven, a farm house sink or a van with automatic doors. I am no different! I am very clear with my husband and kids with what I want. Whether it be a new tree for the front yard or the kid's room cleaned up, I think I know best for everyone. But, sadly, I am realizing, I don't.

So as I am facing some issues with my oldest, I realize I need to soften. I need to be more compassionate. Yes, the whining drives me crazy, but I do it too when I complain that I feel so ghetto dropping my kid off at Kindergarten with heavy rusty van doors and squeaky brakes. One thing that stuck with me from the C4C retreat was that we should all be calling out the treasure in our children as God sees them. I thought this to be very profound but I didn't know how to implement it. I need to see my children as God sees them. Not as greedy little slaves, but princes of a kingdom.

So next week, if you see me at Kindergarten drop-off, give me a wink and know that someday I will reminisce on the squeaky brakes and remember how vulnerable my kids were.

What a revelation...I can't wait to tell Shannon.

Joy in Paint

Years and years ago, I would find joy in painting occasionally. I find fresh canvas to be intoxicating. I was literally itching to get started on this little project after a trip to the craft store. I had the opportunity to meet this gal at the C4C retreat. And I tell you, I think she is amazing. I used her tutorial for creating these canvases. Of course, Jenn makes it look super easy while I waivered the entire time throwing them in the trash and pretending the whole day never happened. I am like that with projects. Very impatient to see the end result, I walk a fine line of every project being a disaster. I think I got them to a point of satisfaction and I tell you they look perfect over my bed. However, we are fundraising, so I am open to the idea of selling them. I am taking them with me to a craft fair this weekend.

Slowing Down

When we focus on what is good and beautiful in someone, whether or not we think that they "deserve" it, the good and the beautiful are strengthened merely by the light of our attention.  

When we choose to see and appreciate what is good and beautiful in our children, the goodness can't help but grow, and their beauty blossoms forth.

Katrina Kenison, The Gift of an Ordinary Day

There are tons of thoughts swirling around in my head about the Created for Care retreat this past weekend. I spent lots of time with 450 moms who taught me a thing or two about God, hope, friendship, grace, adoption, marriage, identity, family, and much more. It was a beautiful time away and the information gathered in my notebook, mind and heart is invaluable. I was a bit "star-struck" by many of the moms who I have been following since the beginning of our adoption journey a couple years ago. Seeing/meeting them in person proved them to be even sweeter than I imagined. 

The past week has been a whirl wind of coming and going. Firstly, Clark broke his leg on the trampoline with the older boys last Wednesday. I have much guilt for allowing him on, assuming the kids would know to be gentle. But honestly, I was just thinking the other day how tough he looks out there, hanging with the big kids, jumping strong. I've been treating him like a very cuddly big kid. The broken leg is kind of a blessing to remember my calling as a mom. I need to put aside the sewing, the cooking, yard projects and computer work and just BE with my kids. Little Clark is needing constant supervision and while it is completely exhausting, he and I are bonding. I've totally embraced his love of reading. He could seriously sit beside me for hours reading books. He is NOT a TV watcher. He likes the occasional spotting of Thomas the Train or Curious George, but he won't sit through an episode of anything. Playdoh is really high on the entertainment list and so is peeling the paper off crayons and throwing them around the kitchen. 

I am totally digging our new book club book. 7- An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess, by Jen Hatmaker. 7 is a true story of how Jen took seven months, identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence. I did have my doubts at first and I contemplated ditching the book for some extra time on Pinterest. I figured the book wouldn't apply to me because we don't overindulge in "stuff" and we really don't spend money unnecessarily. I am not a shopper, I grow our own veges in the summer, we covet our nights together as a family and I would say we were tight on space before I would admit we could cut back. The reviews for the book are awesome so I decided to give it a try. I am only one-third through the book, but I am loving it. I see the experiments as so much more than just giving stuff up. I am talking about freeing up the space in my mind. Lifting the fog, becoming more present. There is so much I over-think on a daily basis that keeps me from a truly simple existence.

On a health note, three weeks ago I gave up dairy. My first objective was to help with my hearing loss that seems to get worse with no explanation. Secondly, I was simply curious to know how I would feel. After a week of a constant dull headache, my body has detoxed and I am feeling good. No gunk in my throat and my head feels lighter. I did learn that 90% of Ethiopians are lactose intolerant. I am happy to be exploring new options for our little guy. My goal is to eat completely whole foods, but I will tell you it isn't easy. I wish to simplify my choices, get rid of what is unhealthy and unnecessary.  I quote Jen Hatmaker, 

Our grandmas ate local meat and vegetables from their gardens; we eat Pop- Tarts and Velvetta. Today in America the culture of food is changing more than once a generation, which is historically unprecedented. This machine is driven by a thirty-two billion-dollar food-marketing engine that thrives on change for its own sake, not to mention constantly shifting nutritional science that keeps folding in on itself every few years.

The Next One

I realized recently that there is something about a quilt, that is entirely different from everything else that I sew, and not just how its made. But I regard a quilt as such a different event, it occupies my mind in a completely different way. I never know what I might be about to sew next, whether a skirt, or a bag, or a pillow, or a half a dozen dolls. But with a quilt, I seem to hover on it mentally for a while before I begin. I compose it internally for a good while before setting out to make it. I always know which one is next. It is an event- making one- isn't it? Small or large its a "save the date" taped to the wall in your mental creative space. I have a new quilt almost all planned now (imaginatively), and hope to crank out a couple more before May. Where the time will come from I am not sure, but in my head the quilts are really beautiful already.
We are in the early stages of planning another craft fair benefiting the adoption ministry at church. A delightful family has decided to open up their farm and host the fair on their grounds and in their barn. I can't tell you how excited I am about not just the idea, but everything that it promises to be.

Right Now

Right now, I am...

:: soaking in the early morning light that pours into my front hallway.

:: anticipating a night out with dear friends tonight. (dancing!)

:: wondering what Jack and Clare were up to so early in the kitchen this morning.

:: enjoying the way the kids can all tend to their own breakfast. Simplicity - and pride - are very good things.

:: planning on a great workout in the gym today.  

:: grateful for "family" - both those we are born and marry into, and those we create with life-long friendships.

:: readying myself to begin gardening season soon. Our bodies are confused, but the forecast says it's true.

:: remembering - the sight and smell of all the fresh flowers in my yard, and on my tables.

:: sewing a whole lot.

:: working from my stash and feeling tremendously frugal about that fact. (As though I never bought that fabric at all? Hmn.)

:: itching, a little bit, to give the house a good and proper spring clean.

:: feeling hopeful. About a lot of things, actually.

:: wanting to spend the day moving as slowly and gently as one can with four kiddos. 

:: wishing you a lovely Friday morning where you are!

LifeSong Matching Grant

Dear Family and Friends,

We hope this letter finds you all doing very well. As some of you might know, we have decided to welcome another child into our family. We are currently in the process of adopting a little boy from Ethiopia through a wonderful agency called All God’s Children International. The number of children worldwide without families to love and care for them is astounding… there are over 43.4 million orphans in Africa alone! We prayerfully considered several countries, and ultimately felt drawn to Ethiopia. It is a beautiful culture...with a rich Christian heritage, wonderful people, and deep traditions. But sadly, in such a beautiful country, there are many, many orphans...currently 4.5 million! These children have lost their families to disease, famine, and poverty. What an honor it is for us to welcome one of these children into our home and our family.

Our life is crazy, and we LOVE it that way! We are crazy for our family, and crazy for the 147 Million Orphans who don’t have a family to call their own. Our hearts are full and our laundry piles are high. Our house is filled with much love, and many laughs. God has shown us that there is always room in our hearts to love more, and that we can always find time to do more laundry. And so we are stepping out in faith to bring home our next blessing. And we could not feel more blessed to be on this crazy journey!

Our family, over the last 12 months, has been saving and preparing for this adoption. Kelly has been busy behind the sewing machine making dresses, capes, dolls and quilts. We have initiated a “sponsor a dress” fundraiser, where we make a dress to clothe a little girl in Ethiopia. Our plan is to hand out these dresses on our first trip to Ethiopia. To date, we have made over 50 dresses.

As you might know, adoption is expensive. We estimate our total cost for adoption fees, Ethiopian government fees, translation fees, travel, orphanage fees, medical, document fees, etc. to be $30,000. We have met all adoption expenses so far, around $13,000. We are grateful to Covenant Presbyterian Church and LifeSong for Orphans for providing us with a $2,500 matching grant to help us with the remaining adoption costs. Lifesong (www.lifesongfororphans.org), a trusted organization administering the funds, will pay adoption expenses out of funds received.

We would like to extend an invitation to you to joyfully partner with us to help bring home our Ethiopian son. While not everyone is called to adopt a child, we believe (and hope!) many will join us on the journey to make an eternal impact on this child’s life. We would truly appreciate your prayer support and if you would like to be part of financially helping us, you can send your donation directly to Lifesong between now and April 11, 2012 to the address below.

We thank you for reading this letter and considering our invitation to join our journey.

Blessings,
Troy, Kelly, Jack, Cole, Clare and Clark


Please make checks payable to: Lifesong
In the memo section please write:
“Preference Farrington #2562 Adoption”.

Mail checks to:
Lifesong for Orphans
Att: Farrington #2562 adoption
PO Box 40 / 202 N. Ford St.
Gridley, IL 61744

*Your contribution is fully tax deductible. In following with IRS guidelines,
your donation is to the named non-profit organization.

Valentines

My little artist loved making these valentines. He is the most creative person I know. He fingerprinted all of the cards with red ink and then made it into a funny little character.

Live the Truth

I think I am missing out when I choose to live the way I feel that is acceptable or ordinary. So many times I feel like I have something to say and I feel so out of touch of what is acceptable and I shut down, completely. Sometimes I want to say, " I am an idiot", "I messed up BIG time", "My life is not a beautiful picture". Bad things happen all the time. These bad things are remarkably identifiable in our makeup. Do we put on a pretty face or do we bare it all? I struggle daily with vulnerability.

Daily, I am overwhelmed and exhausted and inspired.
My friends are the most generous, amazing, smart, caring, compassionate, creative people I know.
I am blessed to sit among them and share their stories. we laugh and we marvel at how tightly our hearts are knit together. These days, this relationship seems harder to build. I worry that I am not giving people my true self.

what is blogging about? relationship
facebook? relationship
MOPS? relationship
small groups and old and new friendships? relationship

woman's bible study? relationship
etc.
and guess what relationship requires?
that we are willing to make ourselves vulnerable.
period.

that we are willing to need someone else.
that we are willing to say so.
that we are willing to be hurt.
because the willingness to be vulnerable is where relationship lives.
the question is: are you willing?

Today's Quote

8 Fancy Dresses

These dresses are made for the awesome Hirschberg family where big things are happening in the realms of caring for the orphan. In the beginning of March this family is going to Africa to distribute dresses to orphanages in Kenya. Can't wait to hear all about it!

Keep sponsoring dresses! I've made some contacts for where to distribute dresses in Ethiopia and I am so looking forward to putting a dress in the hands of as many little girls as I can.

The Details

So I admit it...I don't pay attention to the details. I am a quick-get-it-done kind of person. I love checking things off the list. In fact, I often create the list after I knowingly finish the items on the list, just so I can cross them off! Details are not my thing. So when we got a call that another mishap on our Express mailed adoption package was noted because something was dated 2011, I , nor my husband, was surprised.  In fact, my husband actually made a comment, "Details really aren't your thing, are they, honey?". No, Dear, I JUST want to get all this nonsense done!!!! So in that frantic, "I need to do it all now" feeling, we notarized a new document that says 2012 and we are good to go. Hopefully, this week we will get our long awaited number. The number that finally gets us on the list to our son. I said to a friend tonight, "I feel like I am in a race and people are just passing me by, getting better numbers. She gently reminded me that nobody will be taking MY child. That is already planned perfectly. Thankfully, not everything falls under my control. This is something I remind myself with daily.

right now, I am ...

:: humbled by the fact that I have so much further to go.

:: marveling how this January is flying by in such a blur, embracing that, and riding the wave right on into February.

:: plotting our spring garden

:: savoring a wonderful trip to the city for a Famous Forth Street Deli birthday FEAST! 

:: finishing a dozen handmade dolls. 

:: anticipating the Created 4 Care Retreat in March!!

:: listening to the complete stillness and quietness that comes in the late hours of the night. 

:: feeling grateful for the the beauty of quietness that comes in February. 

:: loving all the heart-shaped crafty kid goodness that keeps coming my way.

:: hoping that everyone has a little bit of that kind of Good Love in their lives.

:: wanting to get out tomorrow for another long swim.

:: thinking it would be nice if spring came a bit early this year.

:: thankful for a husband who can get us anywhere, anytime. He is a navigational genius.

:: making spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner tomorrow night.

:: planning on a wonderful bible study tomorrow morning.

:: wishing you a lovely start to your week!