Being a Mom in the Mundane

When I am buried under never ending piles of laundry or sweeping crumbs off the floor for the 15th time in a day it can be easy to forget how being a mom is one of the greatest adventures of my life. I have hard, yuck days at home with the kids just like everyone else. I have days when I am counting the hours until bedtime and days I would rather cry than intervene in one more fight. Those are days and moments I try to get through and move on.

Thankfully, the yuck is far outweighed by the simple goodness of being a mom. Not much compares. I love that I get a front row seat to watch as 4 kids grow into the people that God created. Talk about creativity at the ultimate level! My favorite times are usually found in the mundane. The thing about the mundane is if you are too busy with everything else in life you miss out on it.

Simple. Memorable moments.






When I am too busy I can easily notice the fighting among my kids…and not notice developing friendships.



The mundane, day-to-day life….just killing time in the backyard. Life is too fast paced, I want childhood to be slow. I want to celebrate the mundane and recognize that most of life is made up in the mundane.



I want to be in the little moments with my kids maybe even more than I want to be in the big moments.

When I slow down and walk along side them in the mundane I recognize things I might not otherwise. Things like how my 2 year old puts stickers on his legs upside down to the world, but right side up from his perspective. Celebrating the day to day can often seem upside down for our culture, but it seems right side up to me.

Make A Wish

I must admit. I am having an off week. My sensitivity is in overdrive and I have an embarrassing long list of misfit problems - all small, making me no less than somewhat cranky.

The first two weeks in October sting my heart. For the past 6 years these weeks are spent designing Make-A-Wish Foundation's Report to the Community. This booklet celebrates the generous contibutions and sponsors of the year and it points out the children who have received their wishes from the previous year. I break down every time I read a child's wish and see their face. I imagine the child's family and admire the strength, faith and fortitude needed for battling the emotions that must come with a sick child.

Each year I spend more and more time praying over this project. Tears flow and such sorrow is felt for each family. As each child's face comes up and their wish statement, I feel a rip on my heart. I wonder if the families have the strength of Christ or are they doing this alone. I wonder how many times they questioned and doubted if there was a God that allowed them to experience such pain. I wonder if they have people lifting them up and standing beside them as they experience the greatest loss of all...a child.

Make-A-Wish® Philadelphia & Susquehanna Valley grants the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy.

Every year I read that mission statement, pause and think about how great that it really is. There are so many facets to the wishes these children receive. Yes, I believe the program's intent is to give these children happy memories and solid family time with their loved ones. But I think the words "hope, strength and joy" are extremely powerful and all point me to Christ. I see Make-A-Wish as a bridge for helping families cope with losing a child, celebrating what is important and memorializing the life we are given. The words are all qualities of our heart. Hope, is for that smile and laughter that tells us it will all be fine. Strength is pointing fully to Christ because we can't do it alone. Joy because the perspective is different and the priority has changed and the smile wins out.

I would personally like to add peace to the statement because it would add a closure to the loss. We need peace to move on. I need peace every October in knowing that God has it all taken care of. I have no doubt that each of the names I type to receive remembrance have been here for OUR benefit. They DID something. Changed someone's heart, attitude, or mind.

Nonetheless, the way I look at my day is different every October. I can not stand the thought of laundry, meal planning, and homework when people are really facing something big and painful. My compassion is stepped up a notch and I get ultra sensitive about world issues and get sarcastic about "the little picture".

It is all about perspective. So every October, I get all prayer centered around sick childen and the families that face the loss of a child. So where are my thoughts the other 11.5 months of the year? Am I apprecitive to the health of my family? You bet! And do I get all sentimental when I am faced straight on with tragic loss, yes! I don't know if that is condescending or just pain ridiculous on my character.

Now here I am at adoption. I went on Rainbow Kids last night took a hard look into the faces of children who already faced loss and needed a family to love them. It is interesting to see the big picture, see where God is working on me and seeing how my sensitivities are often wrapped around what is closest to my heart.

Torn

I want the absolute best for my children. I want them to have a patient mother who takes things in stride. Thinks before she speaks. Listens intently. I want them to feel safe, to know whatever they do they will be loved in return.

Why is it that while I feel so strongly about these things, I still get impatient? I still loose my temper. I tell them I don't care when they whine incessantly. I tell them to be stronger, to try harder, I give them tough love that has no resemblance of love.

Our heavenly father is perfect. He has gifted me with these children that remind me of innocence, true love, absolute patience, and moment to moment gratitude. They teach me what is important. They teach me about forgiveness. These children of mine don't hold grudges, they don't have resentment. They look at me with honest eyes that have trust and confidence.

I never knew being a mom would be so humbling. And I never anticipated that the fatherless would so enrapture my thinking that I would completely overturn the picture of a traditional family. Adoption, at first to us, was a means to grow our family even more and by also caring for a child who needed a home. We have a heart for the fatherless so adoption makes sense. Over the past several months on the waiting list, something has changed. What I thought was going to be an appendix of my life – parenting – and what I perceived was one of the things that caught my eye – orphans – has taken center stage.

I've always wanted a large family. A big chaotic loud bunch has always inticied me. I knew I wanted many children but I can't say I handle it like a mom who "goes with the flow". I know that I will look back on this time and scold my past self on what I held to be important. Really, I have it easy. My husband is an amazing dad who encourages the spiritual growth of our children and let them be who they are. He has no control issues what so ever and has complete trust in our children. As I write this I have put all the kids to bed and I am snuggled up with a soft blanket listening to the football game two rooms away.

The problem with living such a cushy life in America is that there's an impulse to pretend that most everyone else lives the same, or close to the same. To look hard at the face of injustice and abuse - especially toward children - threatens our own coziness, somehow.

It's difficult to wrestle with the dichotomy of have/have not. It can't be tidied up and tucked away in a labeled box. It messes with my head. It kicks me in the gut when I should be sleeping. It's hard to process the lives of children in third world countries. Their existence involves crippling poverty. Hunger. Slavery. 

This Saturday, my children will wake up thrilled to the ends that Dad has the day off. They'll argue over whether we go hiking, golfing or swimming. We'll pay for one meal what over half of the families in the world live on for a week.

At the moment our children are sleeping upstairs in warm beds dreaming no doubt of Elmo, cows, and ice cream and will wake up with a mom who serves them warm oatmeal and waffles. I can not tell you how much this hurts my heart. I feel so torn in knowing that my children will wake up to a mom who complains of dirty laundry on the floor and spilled toothpaste when there is a child of mine out there who has basic needs that aren't being met like the warm embrace of a parent.

It is all about our attitude, isn't it? I ask, am I worthy of parenting another's child? It is very humbling noticing our own flaws and contemplating on how others see us and furthermore seeing ourselves as God intended us to be and noticing how we fall short. I pray that in our time waiting, God changes me by reminding me to be more grateful and less efficient. Gather with me to take the time and anchor this moment in gratitude and selflessness. Join me in praying for the children across the globe who lack everything we take for granted.

And then it was time to play...

It's happened. They're back in school, and I'm not sure how that slippery summer slid past so slyly.
It's the perpetual groundhog day experience, each year at the end of school I wonder what in the world we're going to do for the whole summer to keep everyone busy and happy and then before we have a chance to check off everything, it's time for fresh stacks of notebook paper, spotless shoes, and the scent of newly sharpened pencils.

This year is new for us. We have a middle-schooler. What?! We quickly learned that junior high is a WHOLE NOTHER THING. We went to school before school started so he could practice his locker combination. Do you ever have those recurring nightmares? Mine is always that I'm back in high school and can't remember my locker combination or my class schedule. I wake up panicking every single time.

This year was hard for me putting them on the school bus. Middle school has got me all sentimental on how fast my children are growing up. Sweet Cole is in 4th grade and not a day goes by that I worry about his progress in school, however all his friends are in his class so he thinks his year is golden. Hmmmm. Clare happily skipped off to 1st grade. She could not be more ready for full time school. It is so strange to not have her around. The absence of her giant personality has Clark filling in the blank space with idle chit chat. He cracks me up. 

He reminds me to play because we happen to be right here next to each other. :)

Stand Firm

SO, I’ll go ahead and tell you–if you plan to adopt…put that seatbelt on…

I have heard it before...things start to break when you have both feet going down the adoption route. A few months ago, our frig broke, then the well pump needed to be repaired, then the water softener went and the tractor broke. Then just recently, our neighbor's tree fell on the trampoline and left a huge mess for us to tend to. Last Friday, Troy's car got hit and damaged while parked (no note left). Yesterday, my dad discovered that our circuit box in the basement had come away from the wall and was literally hanging by wires. That is the same day I saw smoke billowing out of the chimney, because of a furnace clog. Meanwhile, the kids seem EXTRA hard. The littlest ones seem to listen less, throw more tantrums, and fight more than ever. Our parenting strategies look like they are mere threats falling on deaf ears.

Sometimes I feel so weak and spread so thin. Sometimes I want to hide under the covers.

But I remind myself...

We are not called to back away…to chicken out…or lay low–but to TAKE A STAND.

Ephesians 6:10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 

Some days I let frustration get the best of me. I grumble loudly, wear a scowl and only remember myself. I forget to appreciate my husband's efforts at work or the kid's desire to learn. I forget how thankful I am for our health and our house and our opportunities.

That, friends, is grace. And I don’t deserve it. I’m too busy wearing my Mary nametag and acting like Martha. Bustling around with worry and doubt.

We are called to be prepared–to know hard things WILL come our way and to STAND through the battle of faith not fear. We will not give up.

Georgia Vacation!

Our vacations in Georgia keep getting better. The kids are getting older, and the family keeps getting bigger. We had a wonderful time. We got up early and stayed up late. Us girls made food like we were running a restaurant and then layed on floats soaking up the hot summer sun.

I’m so glad Aunt T took lots of pictures in the chaos of it all. Here are a few of my favorites.

Can you guess who is a bit crazy on the tube?

Yes, I took some epic spills in the lake.  You won't find me in any of these photos, but I did have some awesome moves.

Troy proved to have the magic with the baby. I love this photo of the three brothers.

Right Now...

Right now, I am...

:: feeling grateful to have our leisurely family dinners back without the rush of a game or practice to follow.

:: enjoying the season continuing in the backyard. (LAX Season never really ends.)

:: loving the fact that our dear friends are in Ethiopia right now meeting their three kids.

:: praying that our time will be come eventually.

:: excited for a nice long swim tomorrow.

:: wondering if I will win this new Double Bubble client. My kids are thoroughly impressed I am potentially working for a sugary gum company.

:: planning our long 14 hour road trip to Georgia for summer vacation, a true adventure. Also, stopping in DC on the way back home and visiting little Ethiopia.

:: anticipating all the tasty food my mother-in-law and sister-in-law will feed us.

:: hoping to get up on water skis again this year.

:: looking forward to meeting our newest niece, sweet Elizabeth.

:: wishing you all a most lovely start to your week, whatever adventures it may hold for you!